Today's post is a confession. I did something last Monday afternoon at around 3:47pm that absolutely blew the minds of my students. They absolutely could not believe that me, their teacher, could do such a thing. So, what did I do?
I did something that blew the minds of my students this week. How do I know? They all stared at me in disbelief, with their little mouths wide open and their eyes almost protruding out of their eye sockets in utter awe. How could a teacher, their teacher, do that? They could not entirely fathom what I did. I’m not going to lie…..the classroom was pure chaos at this point when the students found out. The students wanted to hear every single detail about what I did. Some wanted to re-hear it. They listened with eager ears and so many hands were thrown in the air waiting to be called upon to speak. They were craving more details. They were curious and confused. Some couldn’t even wait to contribute to this enthralling conversation and were yelling out left, right and centre. There were so many questions they had for me, and I suppose, given what I did, they were valid queries and curiosities. I gave them as much detail as I possibly could, without giving them too much. Surely there is a line, that I shouldn't cross. There were looks of surprise, horror, confusion, jealously and relief. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the answers to all of their questions.
I was taken a little by surprise that what I did had gained so much interest. A little guilty even. Should I have done it? Should I have done it in a different way? Who else would they tell this too? Would the story change? I definitely didn’t want that to happen so I decided I needed to lay down the facts, and make sure my class knew exactly what I did…..so I did just that, and told them all the details. It was cutting into valuable learning time, but I think it was important. I think that was a good decision. I felt a little bit of relief, that they heard the true facts, from me, their teacher.
So, what exactly did I do, you might be wondering?
Well it happened on a Monday after a hectic day of work. The time was approximately 3:47pm, when I did the unthinkable. When I did the thing that took my class by surprise. Would they tell their parents, I wonder? Would they tell their classmates at lunch? Would they tell their other teachers and ask them uncomfortable questions, because of me and my actions? I didn’t think it was a big deal. I did what I thought was right. I did what I needed to do. I actually consider what I did a matter of life and death. Usually I don’t actually get caught doing this, and I can do it in a low-key manner and the students are actually none the wiser. The only issue was that on this particular Monday, at around 4:02pm, one of my students busted me. She saw exactly what I did, so she has the hard evidence to share with all of those who are interested. Her Mum was there too, in case nobody believed her…..
You really want to know what I did, don’t you??
Ok then……..I’m just going to come straight out and say it……it’s not like I can undo my actions now. I went to Woolworths and I did the groceries! There, I said it. Guilty! Me, a teacher, pushed a trolley around my local Woolworths supermarket to purchase food, to take to my home to eat, nourish my body and sustain life. This is not a big deal to most humans. However, this is a MASSIVE deal to your students, if they are the ones who run into you in Aisle 7 at your local supermarket. Let me just give you a brief re-cap of said experience with, hmm…… let’s call her Felicity, because Felicity means happiness, and my goodness this girl was happy to run into me, her teacher, in Aisle 7.
Felicity: OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH MMMMMYYYYYY GOOOODDDNNNEEEEESSSSS Mum, look it’s my Maths teacher MRS DEVVVVIIIINNNNEEEEE. Look over there! She’s shopping!!
Felicity’s Mother: That’s great Felicity. I think that maybe she can hear you. Why don’t you go over and introduce me.
My thoughts: Yes, I can certainly hear her. Oh no, please don’t come and talk to me. I’m all talked out for today. Maybe if a do a subtle 180 degree turn with my trolley (See Felicity, you do use Maths in the real world....) and get out of that aisle they’ll never notice. Oh no, too late, they are getting closer to me…..I'm going to have to go forth with this unwanted, out of hours conversation.
Felicity: HHHHIIIIII MISSSS! How are you? I can’t believe you’re shopping! We’re shopping too!
My thoughts: Oh really? Are you shopping too? In Woolworths? I would never have guessed why else you’d be in here…..
My voice: Hello Felicity. It’s so lovely to see you! This must be your lovely mother?
Felicity: HHHIIIII MISSSS.
My thoughts: Ummm, you said that. Please proceed to formalities so I can continue shopping and get home.
Felicity again: This is my Mum. I’ve told her all about you. So cool that we have run into you AT WOOLWORTHS! SHOPPING!
Felicity’s mother: It’s so nice to meet you. Felicity is really enjoying your maths lessons. Week 2 homework was a challenge. Did you have any hints because I’ve spent hours sitting with her trying to get through short division. It’s just not the same as it was when I was at school.
My thoughts: You’re actually asking me this right now, in Aisle 7, right in front of the vast array of sunscreen selections? You think I can picture Week 2 homework and magically pull out a whiteboard and give you some hints? Right now? In the supermarket? You’re dreaming…..If you want some sunscreen brand advice, I'm all for that though!
My voice: It’s really nice to meet you. I’m so pleased she is enjoying it. She is a lovely girl and it’s a pleasure to have her in the class. As with the homework, I’d love to help but perhaps I can email you something to assist when I get home with this food…..(I’m shopping – remember?!)
Felicity’s Mum: Ok, yes of course, you’ve been working all day and you really should get home. I’ll be waiting for your email.
My thoughts: I hope I don’t forget to send it…..I probably will. I’m exhausted. If I do, oh well. It’s night time and I shouldn’t have to send work emails.
My voice: As soon as I’ve gotten these groceries away, I’ll be sure to send you the short division examples. I should get going now. Have a lovely evening.
Felicity’s Mum: Thank you so much. So nice to run into you.
Felicity: See you tomorrow! Enjoy all your food. Are you having frozen pizza for dinner? Or pasta? Or what is that? (Pointing to something in my trolley…..)
My thoughts: Don’t judge what I put in my trolley please. I have to deal with hundreds of you on a daily basis. Sometimes comfort food is needed. Carbs are my friend!
My voice: Oh maybe I will. I’m not sure, but I’ll decide when I get home. See you tomorrow in class!
I quickly walk to Aisle 8 and I don’t think I’ve ever finished my shopping so fast!!
I did think that the weird grocery shop encounter was behind me, until I walked into Maths on Tuesday and I was doing the roll, when she couldn’t wait…..Felicity announced to the whole class that: “GUYS, GUUUYYYYSSSS, I saw Mrs Devine yesterday at Woolworths and she was doing her groceries!”. “NOOOO WWWAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY” one of them answered, “TELLLL MMEEEEE MMOOOOORREEEEE. What did she buy? What was she wearing? Did she talk to you?” were some popular questions amongst the overexcited pre-adolescents. They wanted to know it all, and Felicity told them everything she knew. The kids were treating her as though she was famous. Like royalty even. As though the coolest thing to happen to you when you're 11, is to run into your teachers, out of their natural habitat (school) and in the wild (Woolworths).
It absolutely astonishes me that students find it so freaking bizarre to run into their teacher buying groceries or doing any regular human being activity in the evening or on the weekend. This of course is not the first time in my 7 years teaching that this has happened, but it is certainly the freshest memory I have to share with you all. Please, if you are not a teacher, appreciate that you can do everyday tasks such as: the groceries, going for a walk, going to the doctor’s surgery, going to the gym and filling your car up with petrol, in peace. If you are a teacher, and you are caught in the wild, I suggest adopting some wild animal instincts and either camoflauge with your surroundings so as to not be seen, or if you are glimpsed and stalked, run as fast as a cheetah in the opposite direction.
Fellow teachers, if you need some hints as to how to blend in with your natural surroundings and not be seen by your students, see below. You're welcome.
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