If you’ve never come across the words parant, peesqueeze & disappencil before, chances are you are not a teacher. The Merriam-Webster Teachernary defines PARANT (noun) as: an unexpected and out-of-the-blue email-rant from an angry parent. In this post find out my favourite words from the teachernary, how freaking busy each and every teaching day is and some alarming statistics regarding the future of Australian teachers.
Teaching is complex. Firstly, there are the hundreds of students that I need to connect with, daily. Then there is the curriculum. At 9am I need to be an expert in multiplying decimals, adverbial phrases in Italian at 10am, the first Emperor of China at 12pm and finally, biblical analysis at 2pm. And that was just on Monday. And that was just in the classroom. Then there was two staff meetings (one before school and one after school!), extra student tutoring session and playground duty (in the rain – which I promise you is not as easy as simply watching the children sit and eat their lunch and then play nicely……lunch time playground duty in the rain, resembles Noah and the Great Flood crossed with a Zombie Apocalypse....absolute chaos!). When did I have time to eat, drink, go to the bathroom you ask?! Well I had a window of exactly 9 minutes to do all of the above between, 11:41am and 12:00pm.
The curriculum and knowing my “stuff” is just the beginning. You can’t just stand in front of 25 pre-pubescent children and read to them from a textbook and have them copy notes off the board for 70 minutes. If I learnt one thing from my own school, it is not to be that boring teacher who does exactly that. That’s not teaching. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can do that. Teaching is a little like acting for me. Even if multiplying decimals is not my absolute favourite thing to do in the world, my class sure think that there is nothing I’d rather be doing than “Adding the hundredths, carrying the tenths and adding the ones”. Enthusiasm and passion are contagious, I learnt early on in my teaching career, and so too are apathy and lack-of-passion.
Just to mix things up a little; here are 5 of my favourite words from the Teachernary. If you’re a teacher, I’m 100% sure you’ll be able to relate to most, if not all of these:
UNSUBCESSFUL (adjective)
When you return to your class the day after being out sick, only to learn that your sub didn’t do anything that you had planned.
PEESQUEEZE (verb)
To tighten every muscle in your body in an attempt to keep yourself from peeing in the middle of class.
DISAPPENCIL (verb)
To make a pencil disappear, sending it to an alternate dimension from whence it will never return.
EDUJUGGLE (verb)
To simultaneously teach multiple children on multiple learning levels while making sure everyone is safe and having all of their needs met.
FOODGET (verb)
When you get ready to sit down and finally enjoy your lunch, then realise you have a million other things to do and forget your food exists.
It’s Saturday today, but instead of sleeping in, my teacher body clock woke me at dawn and I found myself reading about………..teaching! I read an article this morning, entitled “Seven Reasons Why People No Longer Want to Become Teachers”. My first thought was, “Only 7?!”…….because I agree, the way teaching used to be, and the way teaching was (or is) portrayed as a career, and the reality of actually being a teacher are two very different things. Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job, but I find certain parts of it: draining, unnecessary, unfulfilling, difficult and bloody tiring. I’d say way more tiring than the stock photos you see of teachers sitting nicely, reading a book to their angelic students sitting on the floor with their legs crossed, smiling.
Non-teaching folk, is this how you picture our days?!
How hard can it be right?! Firstly, this is 7 students, and not 27. These images are a little closer:
Some other things I came across this morning regarding teaching, which I found to be quite alarming are:
1. Statistics indicate that 40 to 50 per cent of Australian teachers leave the profession within the first five years of their employment.
2. "Teaching is awesome until you have to do something other than teach, which is about 80 per cent of the time."
3. Research conducted by the Australian Government in 2014 estimates that 20 per cent of education graduates do not register as teachers on graduating, meaning many teachers are leaving before they've even started.
4. If the ratio of teachers to students continues to fall, Australia could face a teacher shortage.
5. The percentage of male school teachers in Australia has decreased in recent decades, from 30.24% in 1983 to 18.26% in 2016.
6. Some Australian universities have experienced a decline of up to 40% in initial teacher education (ITE) course applications between 2015 and 2017.
It was 6:30am and already my head hurt and I felt a little disheartened at the state of Australia’s education system. So I got up, despite the rain on the roof, to do the one thing I love the most in the world - ride my bike!
As I’ve said often, I do LOVE my job. I’m one of the lucky ones. I love that each day is so, so unique. I am a little afraid to admit that I used to be one of those people who thought that teachers got WAY too many holidays. But since actually being a teacher, I realise exactly why. We work hard; our work is physically, mentally and emotionally draining, every single day, 10 weeks at a time. The holidays are needed to rest, relax and prepare for the term ahead. Having said that, I am smiling because there are only 5 working days standing between me and the Easter break. The much needed Easter break. Teachers across the country are tired, and we need and deserve every minute of the holidays.
Hang in there teacher buddies, the end of Term 1 is near.