#12 A Taste of My Own Medicine

This weekend the tables had turned. My teacher shoes were off, and my student shoes were on. After spending 14 hours over the weekend, with my 43 new classmates (who are all teachers too), let me tell you that teachers are the absolute worst students. In this post, find out why I wanted the ground to gobble me up on more than one occasion over the past 48 hours, discover why some teachers are massive hypocrites and learn why I owe some of my students a sincere apology in the week ahead.

I certainly learnt a lot this weekend. I don’t mean just content knowledge related to my Post-Graduate Cert in Mathematics, but I learnt a lot about my classmates, my lecturer and most of all I learnt a lot about my students back at school. It certainly was an opportunity for me to engage in some professional reflection, and not for the reasons I first thought when I first embarked on my intensive weekend at university.

Let me walk you through the first 15 minutes of our intensive weekend. Caution: If you’re an introvert like me, what you are about to read is not dissimilar to a horror movie. So here we go…….I walk in to my allocated classroom, which had neat rows in front of a board. I had one foot in the door, when I discovered that we had a designated seat. My anxiety levels sky rocketed. Why can’t I choose my own seat? What if I don’t like where I’m sitting? What if I want to sit somewhere else? But then I remembered that I’m an adult, so I dealt with it and sat where the Post-It note read “Nat D”. My next thought was – Who thinks they can give me a nickname without meeting me? What if I don’t like Nat? Who are these people?! Did they look me up on Facebook and discover my name is Nat? Eeeeeekkkkk. The anxiety.

I then had my first moment of professional reflection: Is this how my students feel when I put them in a seating arrangement on the first day? Or when I give them a nickname without first asking their permission? I am sincerely sorry kids. I feel your pain. I felt your pain today.

Anyway, everyone took their seats and it didn't seem too bad. It didn’t really matter where I was sitting anyway, it’s not like I’d have to interact with those around me. Just as I was thinking that, the stuff of nightmares occurred. The lecturer said something along the lines of: “Right. We are going to do a speed-dating activity, without the dating”. I was thinking of possible way to make a hole open up and gobble me up. I would do anything to avoid the dreaded ice-breakers. I hoped that my professor had read my blog post, and had chosen an activity that suited the extroverts and introverts amongst us. 20 seconds later it was very evident that he had not. He proceeded to explain the activity: “You will have two minutes to chat to someone you don’t know. You need to find out where they came from this morning, what school they work at, when their birthday is and what maths looks likes at their school”. I relaxed ever so slightly, knowing that we had a task. I would walk around and ask those four questions to the set amount of people. Can’t be that hard, I thought, as my heart was beating a million miles an hour. I found a friendly face, and started this “speed-dating without the dating” activity. All was well, until we got through the 4 questions in about 1 minute, 25 seconds. Oh my goodness, how do I fill in the remaining 35 seconds?! Small talk is not my thing. I’d rather stand there in awkward silence. This was a terrible, terrible activity and not an ideal start to my latest university course. What question came out of my mouth you ask? "Are you hungry?". It was 9:10am, and chances are my partner had breakfast so her look of confusion was valid. She wasn't hungry, for the record. She had eaten breakfast at 7:30am. Weet-bix. Quite substantial.

Another moment of professional reflection: Is this how my students feel when I force interactions amongst them?! Probably. Sorry kids; especially those introverts like me. I feel your pain. I felt your pain today.

The professor announced that the activity was over. "HOORAY!" I thought, or might have even said out loud. Soon I’d be back in the comfort of my own seat, ready to learn without having to interact with classmates again, right? WRONG. There was ANOTHER ice-breaker. The rules to this one were that we had to get in a circle, in order of birthday dates and months. That part of it seemed fine, but seriously, how old do they think we are?! This is not a fun weekend activity. The part where I wanted to be once again gobbled up by the ground below me, occurred when they said, “Okay everyone, now you have to quickly chat to the person on your right and find out their name, their birthday, their school and what maths looks like in their school AND share it with the ENTIRE GROUP”. I hate being an adult. I was born in July. So I had to listen to everyone born in January to mid-July before it was my turn. Goodness knows what came out of my mouth. All I remember was “Hi. This is Emma. She………………pilot………….”. I actually can’t remember what I said, apart from the word pilot. Maybe I told them she was a pilot?! She wants to be a pilot?! She teaches at an aviation school?! Probably. Sorry Emma. I did try.

Another moment of professional reflection. I don't think all of my students do feel comfortable speaking in front of all of their peers. Sorry again to my students, if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable and made you share in front of the entire class. Sorry if you wanted the ground to gobble you up too. I feel your pain. I felt it today.

Finally, back in my seat feeling more anxious than I needed to. Thank goodness there was a bit of “chalk and talk” and I could sit, listen, absorb information and write it down. I wrote down pages of unnecessary stuff as I find hand writing a therapeutic experience. By morning tea I was calm again. He gave us half an hour, and I pretended to check my emails until everyone left the room, and finally I had half an hour to sit in peace. This is what I’m talking about! How lovely! Lunch was even better. I had 45 minutes of bliss. Alone time. Time to recharge after a lot of human interaction. Something that extroverts don't get.

This is the view from the bathroom window. Quite magical really. I let my mind wonder for a moment and imagined I was at Hogwarts….what a lovely minute of my day!

Here I am, in the comfort of my own chair. No human interaction needed.

Today, Sunday, I walked in ready for Day 2 of our lecture. The same room as yesterday. I was feeling less anxious because I knew where my seat was. It turned out okay yesterday, I didn’t die, and I was ready for Day 2. That was until I walked into the classroom. THE DESKS HAD MOVED. They were in groups with 6 chairs around them. There had to be a mistake. I had to have accidentally walked into the wrong classroom. I nearly walked out again, until I saw my "Nat" Post-It note stuck to the “Group 4” table. This was going to be a terrible, terrible day. Would anyone notice if I just walked to my car and drove off?! It crossed my mind, and stayed in there for quite awhile…..but then I remembered I was an adult and I had responsibilities and yes, someone would notice if I bailed.....

Turns out that half of the day involved group work. I would have much preferred to work alone, and I would have gotten so much more work done. I wish they would just stick to the task and not chat about:

1. Menopause. -Clearly not an inclusive topic of conversation when I’m in their group. I am sorry but I have no suggestions to help the dry skin on your chin, Bernadette.

2. Wine. - I’m generally okay with that topic, although they were saying NO to wine on a school night….ever.......no exceptions. Hmmmm, not cool Sharon.

3. Being Young Again. - I had to talk a lot in this section. They asked me a lot of questions, which I knew the polite thing to do was answer….I tell you what Lorna, If you say "To be young again" one more time I'm going to........I'm going to sit down politely and smile awkwardly at you.

Sorry again kids, for forcing you to do so much group work, when I should have let you work alone if you wanted to. Or in pairs. Smaller groups. I feel your pain. I felt your pain today.

I haven’t been a learner in a classroom for a while. It really opened my eyes up to the way I run my classroom and has made me really reflect on ways to limit the uncomfortableness felt by some students. Sure, I get that teenagers have to learn to work with others and speak in front of others, but there has to be a better way that just forcing them like I was forced today. A classroom should be a place where you feel comfortable, not a place where you are willing the building to collapse.

What I found interesting about some of my classmates, is that they spent the weekend doing the very things that they spend the week telling their students not to do. Here are a few examples:

1. Talking while the lecturer is talking.

2. Talking over the top of other (lecturer and classmate) like they are entitled and that they think what they have to say is the most important thing in the world.

3. Not listening to instructions.

4. Not pushing their chair in.

5. Not cleaning up after themselves.

6. Working on work for another subject.

7. Not wearing deodorant.

8. Being argumentative.

9. Not using an inside voice.

10. Eating in class – and chewing loudly.

11. Tapping the desks.

12. Being late at the start of the day and late back from breaks.

13. Leaving the classroom alllllll the time.

14. Playing on their phones and not putting their phones on silent.

These are just a few examples. Some of these infuriated me more than others. I found myself glaring at the rude humans, like I do at my students sometimes when they are talking out of turn and I don’t want to make a scene.

I was feeling how I think some of my students who always follow the rules must feel. They are in my class to learn and how dare their classmates do one, or some, or all of the things in my above list that stop their teacher teaching and them from learning. I hear you kiddo! That was me today. I wanted to scream “CAN YOU SHHHHUUUUTTTTTT UUUPPPPPP! I’M HERE TO LEARN. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO STOP ME FROM LEARNING".

So that basically sums up my thoughts on a large chunk of my classmates. What did they think of me you ask? I think they would have thought I’m the annoying quiet student, who only talks when spoken to, and just gets all the work done and wants to please the teacher.

How was my teacher? Well I am more of a judgmental student in Post-Graduate studies than I was in my Undergraduate degree. I find myself analysing and silently critiquing my lecturer's teaching styles. I think now that I have 7 years of teaching under my belt, I feel like I know a thing or two about effective teaching practice. Sure, I have plenty to learn and am certainly no expert, but I like to think I know something about maximising student engagement. I think a good teacher, no matter if they are teaching prep or university students, should be able to engage their learners, and apologies to my lecturer but I struggled to focus for my age in minutes. That’s 28 minutes I should had been able to focus for. I think, on average, I could focus for about 10 minutes. I guess it has a lot to say about me and my ability to sit still, but surely he could have changed his tone of voice, thrown in a funny picture, tried to crack a joke, have.a quiz…..something, ANYTHING, that would make us even slightly smile. Ironically one of the sessions was on “Effective Teaching”……and I’m sorry but the teaching I was receiving was not that effective. I have the ability to read off a PowerPoint too. I feel like he was getting paid a lot of money to read to us. I can read quite well, thank you very much. I guess in his defence, he was teaching adults, and we really should have been able to sit there and participate, regardless of how non-entertaining the information being delivered was. He also had a tough audience, full of teachers, who had been working all week and had no break.

I’m not sure if I’m whingy because I spent the weekdays working, and then had to spend the weekend in a classroom learning, and then straight back to work for the next five days before finally getting a break. Or perhaps I’m whingy because some of my classmates, are massive hypocrites. I am almost certain that they would expect their students to follow rules and use manners, yet they themselves were unable to do this. Or perhaps I’m whingy because I am still a little uptight from the forced interaction/ice-breaker activities. Either way, I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and being in control of how the humans within the four walls of my classroom behave. It’s okay to have to remind a 12 year old of some of the classroom rules, sometimes, but I really feel like by the time you are 40, you should have those skills down pat.

I now have six weeks to recover, before my next weekend at uni. The only positive is that the ice is broken, so surely next intensive weekend at university won’t involve any awful ice-breakers! Things are looking up.

Happy Week 7 fellow teachers. I do hope mine is about 176 times better than Week 6 was!

20 teaching days until holidays, not that I'm counting......